"You can't lose what you don't put in the middle."

Lately I've been really happy.

I mean, nothing this summer has worked out the way I thought it would other than IU.

Which is strange. School going right and nothing else going that direction. Some things thought about going in that direction, then they were all like: "Psssh" and turned right around.

Which is OK.

Here is my list of surprises from this summer.

_Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was an amazing movie. After all the bad scripts and bad directing and bad acting and generally crappy crap that was the first four movies I was super-impressed and surprised that OotP was so good.

_Ginny didn't die. I thought for sure that JK was going to break my heart and kill Ginny. Thank goodness she didn't.

_I like working at Menards. This has been an awesome thing. Money is necessary and if you actually semi-enjoy earning it then that makes it even better. I'm not crazy about the job, but it's much better than so many other ones.

_Amanda and Chris are pregnant. (well just amanda) This really wasn't a huge surprise, because I was pretty sure that they were trying (ewww...) but it was great happiness either way.

_I didn't kill my parents. Try living at college, by yourself for 3 years, then coming back to live at home for 8 months. Actually, don't.

_My dad bought a new truck. I woke up one 'morning' and was sitting on the couch trying to figure out what the fuck was going on when my dad walks in with his shoes in his hand and his shirt tucked in and I knew that something was up. Then he says: "Hey, wanna help me buy a truck?" Good story. We ate Arby's.

_I didn't see certain people hardly at all. This has been terribly frustrating and annoying because you think you know people and you think you care about them and you realize one day that they never cared about you. Then they kick you. Oh and when I say 'certain people' I really mean 'a certain person'.

_I drove my car from Putt-Putt to go get ice cream and sang 'Can I get a...?' as well as I could. Then I drove home and watched Love Actually after which I played some pool. Then I watched most of 'That Thing You Do' before going to bed at 4 am. Oh, I did all these things with someone else. This was the most surprising thing that happened all summer.

The problem is that now(NOW) I don't know what to expect. I afraid to expect anything or to hope for anything or to wish for anything. This is the hand, God is the dealer, I have to decide how to play the cards.

And who I play with, of course.

_Todd

" But you can't win much either. "