I've got a fever

So I didn't give you much information last week.

OK that's not true. I gave you lots of information. Just not a lot of details about said information.

So this week it's "The top five top five"

1.) Anything by Bill Simmons - He's the sports guy. He wins the Dave Barry award for making me laugh out loud an average of 5.6 times an article. That's the highest average since Dave Barry. Which is why the award is named after him. He's knowledgeable about sports and he also wins the Family Guy award for averaging 15.7 allusions per article. Most of them are either about epic 80s' Celtics' games or epically bad coaching decisions by guys like Rick Barnes. And his podcasts are funny. You know a guy has a lot of pull when David Stern comes on your show...and Adam Corolla and Erin Andrews and I can't think of anymore. (Side note: this is the first time wikipedia has ever let me down, I was expecting a full list of B.S. report guests. There is a ridiculously long article about him though) Basically he's funny and great and I really enjoy what he does.

1.)Calvin and Hobbes - It's existential and absurd and heart-warming and engrossing and incredibly funny. No other comic comes close to it's great drawings and amazing use of dialogue and space on the page. I wish I had a tiger I could talk to. I wish my world would suddenly turn Ne0-Cubist or my last name was Bullet and I had to solve a crime. Calvin and Hobbes make everything else seem pale and without depth or emotion because it is so full of color and it emphasizes the importance of friends and love and making your own way in the world. Even if both your legs are in one pant leg and you fall down a lot.

6.) Alibi - David Gray : After listening to White Ladder and most of A New Day at Midnight the first track on Life in Slow Motion just completely shocked me. The use of backing vocals and Gray's unbelievable voice are both perfect. I think Gray is completely underrated as a songwriter and a very very talented musician. I'm excited to be a fan of him now.

1.) My Apartment - I like coming home to this place. I like having a bathroom inside my room. I like watching Food Network with Todd. I really like plinking around on Todd's piano. And it's just weird to live here. I never thought it possible that I would. It's a sign of how much things have changed for me. It's also a sign of how far I have yet to go.

1.) The computer lab on the top floor of the library - It's nice to have a 'place' on campus that is 'yours' that you can go to and feel secure and safe and confident. I like this computer lab because you get this huge table where you can spread all your stuff out and work on any subject you want to. I like tables for some reason; I guess have a disposition to liking big, rectanglely things that you can put drinks on, do homework on or dance on. And they're pretty. When I'm a famous photographer I'll do a whole series on tables. Or maybe I'll do it sometime sooner. Anyway, the lab is great and I have a feeling that I'll be spending a lot of time there.

I've been writing in this a lot lately. There is a reason for it but I can't really talk about it here. It's probably girl related; most things that affect me emotionally are girl related. But which girl? Ah, that is indeed the question. I'm not even sure I know the answer. If you think you do you should tell me, maybe you'll be right.

I know a few people with strep throat. I think I may have it. But maybe not. If you see me in the next week or so I'll probably be downing some Gatorade or some day quil or BOTH. I think a cocktail of day quil and Gatorade would regrow a limb or something because it would be so powerful. Oh man. I need to get a hold of science and tell them to market this. Wouldn't you take it if you weren't feeling 100%? And talk about hangover cure. Wow...whenever this actually comes out all of you who read this can attest that I invented it to a judge. So I can get money and throw a party. Like a kickass one where I would pick the music and we'd all drink high life and whiskey and sing songs and dance on tables and everybody would get laid. Except me, I'd pass out singing Ben Folds songs to myself in a corner. It's hard to get laid when you're drunk doing that at 10:30pm. Although, if anyone could do it, it would be me.

And on that subject...like...I guess I never understood the mentality of "Lets get drunk in a bar and try to get girls to come home with us so we can have sloppy, joyless, meaningless, and completely unremembered sex".* Like...if I'm gonna have sex I want it to be the opposite of all those things. Don't you? Anyone? But like...that has to be the mentality...do women think like that? I'm not sure. But either way...the pursuit of women and sex isn't exactly active for someone like me. It's not that I don't talk to girls or try to make things happen...

I guess I just get jealous when I see couples and they are completely into it. They both want the relationship and they both understand that they both want this for as long as possible. They fit, they work. They let themselves accept everything I just said...they seem to accept unquestioningly that this is the person that they're with and they wouldn't have it any other way ever. I guess I'm bad at that last part. I'm pretty sure that that is someones (who I won't mention other than to say that her last name is now different) fault.

Anyway, night.

_Todd


"One day, I am gonna grow wings in a chemical reaction...hysterical and useless...hysterical and Let Down and hanging around..."

*I just realized that this is a great definition of masturbation.