Magic

It's not every day that meet someone who you feel like you could spend all your time with.

I mean I do know people who I want to spend as much time with as possible.

(Now, the next sentence that you might be expecting would be something like: "But, oddly enough, these people are the people that I seem to see the least"...or some such phrase. I'm not going to write that sentence. Here is what I will write:)

How does this happen?

I'm new here and IU and I'm so awkward. I have these people in my classes and I ask myself almost all the time: "Do I want to spend more time with this person?" And if the answer is even: "Maybe" let alone "Yes" then I think to myself: "OK, that decision is made, I want to try and talk to this person and maybe spend time with them....now what?"

And I'm not just talking about the ladies here. At Purdue I met guy friends too.

I think that the answer is Magic. Its so interesting to look at a classroom and see friendships forming and wondering: "Ok, why are those two friends? Why aren't they friends with me?"

And thinking: "I'll never meet anyone."

And also thinking: "Do I need to meet anyone else?"

I love my friends so much. I feel like sometimes I let them down or expect too much from them while not giving them enough and I wonder what they really think about me. Do I really need to add people to this list? I have enough trouble with life.

And I know that more people means less time with those others. And I know it's going to happen, I know it is, but there are so many people who I don't want to lose touch with. I want to know them when they are 30 and married...I want to see their kids...and drink beer with them and be in their weddings and never spend a moment wishing that I was somewhere else.

Because it's so odd this Magic that allows two people to become friends. This inexplicable and improbable Magic. I've been so lucky to have so much of it in my life already. Why would I expect more? Do you?

Here I'm really talking about that one person. Because at some point we all expect to meet that one person. How do we know that we haven't already? How do we know that we will?

A test:

It's Armageddon. Bruce Willis cannot save the day. Who is the one person not in your family that you call first.

Movies and books would like to prove that two people can only fall in love after they've experienced something extraordinary together, some life-threatening event has made the bond between them so much stronger...see Shaun of the Dead for a hilarious example. But I don't think this is really the case for 98 percent of the population.

We won't experience Armageddon, we won't have to kill zombies, we won't bring down Voldemort or save the planet from the Decepticons. (although I would if Megan Fox asked me too)

The point is that eventually those feelings that you have for a person have to come out - life-threatening situation or no. Eventually you have to say "OK, this is what is happening." And things either work or they don't....or they stumble along in between like a little puppy...or they spiral out of control. Kinda like this journal. My name is Todd Waggoner and I have no idea what I am talking about. I got lost at about paragraph four and just kinda rode the wave to this point. This is what happens when I try to talk about my life without actually talking about my life.

In any case, I'm new here at IU and I'm really awkward. Hi.

_Todd