Two Months Later...

I'm gonna stop with the usual beating around bushes and intertwining truth and lies and come right out and say something. (well, at the end anyway) I think part of growing up is getting past the doubt of who you are and what you really mean.

I think part of growing up is falling in love.

I recently found myself in Alabama, lying awake in the dark on a couch, and finally understanding the truth about love songs...and what they should do...and how that coincides with what love is really like.

I've always thought that love songs have to sort of walk a fine line between romance and poetry (read: over the top) and honesty and reality (read: the way people actually think). The best ones have elements of both in them. For excellent examples see: 'She's got a Way' by Billy Joel, 'Something' by George Harrison, and 'Crush' by the Dave Matthews Band.

My breakthrough came when I realized why this balance and fine-line-walking is so important. Because the people that write the good songs actually understand what happens in love. (Note: by saying this it may seem that I know what actually happens in love and this is not necessarily true.) As an example of a bad love song let's look at 'Truly, Madly, Deeply' by Savage Garden. Now, it probably is not any great revelation that this song is a bad love song, but, other than the ridiculous production and girly singing, did you ever think about why it is so bad? It's because it's completely over the top and false.

The completely over the top part is easy. "I wanna stand with you on a mountain"...and what? Die of exposure? I would analyze the rest of the lyrics, but after reading them I realized that I would probably die of a brain hemorrhage if I did.

The false part certainly goes along with the over-the-top part, but in order to see it you have to look at things literally. I guess I have problems with the word 'madly' because 'madly' indicates that the people in love are not themselves. It indicates a loss of control and a loss of self. And I think that love is about finding yourself. And then finding yourself again in another person. (not literally*) And about controlling that feeling and that thrill of discovery. So please don't ever say that you are madly in love with someone.

My point is that part of falling in love is figuring out what love really is. And, like anything else, it is never fully understood. I do not think that love is blind, but some parts do remain hidden.

Top Five Love Songs**:
True Love Waits - Radiohead
Something - Beatles
#40 - Dave Matthews
She's Got a Way - Billy Joel***
Can't Help Falling in Love - Elvis

H.M.
The Luckiest - Ben Folds
Unchained Melody - The Righteous Brothers
One - U2

What I was going to come out and say is that I am in love. With Jenny. And that I'm seeing myself more clearly than ever. And seeing her more clearly than I've ever seen anyone before.

Todd

*ok, literally too
**As always, essentially just off the top of my head. Feel free to contribute.

_as a side note, while looking up love songs to think about I found EW's top 25 love songs ever. Number 19 is 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough'...and Number 18 is 'Crazy in Love' by Beyonce. I feel like either punching someone or like someone just punched me.
***This song wasn't on the EW list...how is that possible?